Update

Wow, it’s been a while since I posted here.  Life has been happening and I guess I just haven’t had the time or the will to write anything for the world to see.  College is growing on me, for sure.  It’s not that I didn’t like it before, it’s just that now I feel like this is becoming my home.  Last weekend on my way back up here, I didn’t feel sad to leave home like I usually do.   I guess that’s a good thing. 

Right now, I should be in class.  Oh, well.  Up til 1:00 last night and Government was about the last thing I needed this morning.  I really don’t know what to expect this weekend.  I’m excited, but a little hesitant about a few things.  I don’t want to get that, just that I don’t know how it’s going to turn out. 

Grades are still good.  I have more time to play my guitar now, too, and I’ve been trying to do some more writing.  That and learning covers comprises most of my free time activity. 

It was hard leaving and I still long for another year of high school occasionally.  I guess things just have to change sometimes, and this time there’s nothing I can do about it.

Small

Don’t get me wrong.  I like college.  I really do.  It’s just that, as of yet, I don’t know anyone.  It’s lonely up here.  I feel like a minnow in the ocean, just kind of swimming around trying to find where I belong.  Last month was probably the greatest time of my life, and served as a cap on the greatest summer so far.  Now, I feel like that’s all gone.  It’s a terrible, horrible, pit in your stomach kind of feeling.  It’s hopelessness, I guess.  I’m not used to that.  I’m always the easy going, “It’s all gonna work out” guy.  But this time, I feel like I’m alone.  Just me up here trying to figure things out.  I don’t know what’s going to happen, and to be quite honest, I’m scared. 

The worst part is, everything else is great.  My dorm is awesome, I have a nice, quiet roommate, I have some pretty sweet scholarships, I have a new car, but I still feel so… unexplainable.  I don’t want to sound ungrateful, because I’m not, I just feel so small and worthless here; like I’m just a number.  I miss my friends back home, and I’m worried I won’t be able to find friends here that can match up.  This may sound strange, but it almost feels like grief.  Things will work out, I know that, it just doesn’t feel like that now.

Day 1 (of many)

Get ready for the boring details.  Today was my first official day of college.  It began at 6:30.  I woke up, put on yesterday’s clothes and got on the computer, ready for Add/Drop, which, as it turns out, began at 7:00 this morning, not midnight last night.  That turned out perfectly.  I got exactly the classes I was hoping for.  When that was done, I got to drive up to Denton in the morning traffic on 380.  The worst part of that whole adventure was trying to find a parking spot at 8:30 on the first day of class at a gigantic state college.  I got super lucky after about 5 minutes, and found a spot about a quarter of a mile from my dorm.  Government started at 9, nothing to report there, just your standard required college class.  At 10, I went to Acoustics (along with about 300 other students).  I found out that my professor for that class is a Christian.  He seems like a really great guy and the course seems interesting enough, so, I’m pretty excited about that one.  At 11 (or more like 11:10 by the time I got there) I had English Comp.  It’s on the third floor of the Auditorium building, which is on the far north end of the campus, and not the easiest place to find.  Unfortunately, I’m pretty sure the teacher for that class thinks I’m a vagrant.  I ran about half the way there, so when I stepped in the room (late) I was sweating and breathing pretty hard.  She looked at me with this horrible look and I just kind of quietly found my seat.  After that event, I grabbed lunch and hit a much needed shower, put on some fresh clothes, and took a minute to catch my breath.  At about 1:45, I headed to the far side of the campus (again) for an “experimental honors course”.  It is, more or less, a discussion based study of American society and its many triumphs and pitfalls.  I’m also excited about this one.  It’s hard to describe the professor for this class.  She’s a little past middle-aged, but acts like she’s twenty.  She hates “the system” and most conventional methods of just about everything.  She called grades “a necessary evil” (which I thought was about the coolest thing I’ve ever heard a teacher say).  She told us not to bother turning in papers to her longer than one page, because there’s no need to write a paper that long.  I think she was probably more excited about this class than we were.  Needless to say I think we’re going to have a lot of fun in there.  After that ended at about 5, I caught dinner at the Mean Greens (everything up here is a play-on-words of “green” or “eagle”) and wrote this.

New Beginnings (that’s not cliche’d at all)

Well, today was my last official Sunday leading worship, and it’s definitely bittersweet.  I have loved just about every minute of it, but I guess I’m ready for something new.  Everybody keeps telling me that change is good and everything, and I’m not doubting that, but I just hate to leave.  Tyler getting hired on as the new Worship Coordinator is incredibly exciting and makes my exit much smoother and easier.  It’s cool to see God’s timing in all of that.  But back to this morning, worship was awesome, definitely a great note to go out on (pun intended).  We ended the worship set with Mighty to Save by Hillsong United, and getting to see people worship that intensely was really cool.  Then, to top it all off, as we were about to end the song, almost everyone was singing so we finished it off acapella.  It was an unexplainable moment.  I just about started crying.

On a different note, classes start tomorrow over at the U of NT, but currently my schedule is less than desirable.  Two night classes.  Need I say more?  I’m kind of banking on Add/Drop, which starts tonight at midnight (that’s gonna be a fun adventure…), but I’m living on campus, so it’s whatever.  Once I get all that settled and find a work-study job, I’m gonna be solid, but until then I’m kind of a nervous wreck.  But hey, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger right?  And I’m not dead yet, so I guess you could consider this working out…